If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
