I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
