Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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