I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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