apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
