If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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