Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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