Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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