Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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