I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
