Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
