I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
