the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
