just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
