How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize