I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
