She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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