talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
