Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
