You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
