"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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