dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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