and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
