dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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