Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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