so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think I won the penis lottery.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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