You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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