I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I want to make a zoo with you.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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