Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
