I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
