I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
