Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize