somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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