I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
