Are we in a gay sports bar?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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