i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
