You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
