I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
