You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
