I'm gonna have a badass scar
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
