I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Houston, we have a blender
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
