And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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