I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
