No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
