Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
