I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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