Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
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