Buhtt sex?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
