walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
