I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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