i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize