holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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