i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
