I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
