just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
