All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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