My room smells like vodka and shame
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
