you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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