You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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