Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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