Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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