I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
