The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
