Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
