Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
