i don't like sucking hair
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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