I didn't shave. On purpose
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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