I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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