turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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