its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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